Quite often my Mom and I clash. She is a very laid back kind of person. I am not. She likes to dabble in the emotional side of everything. I tend to forget that emotions are even a thing. She is timid. I am a fighter. The list of our differences goes on and on. At this time I am not working. Mom has never worked. So we are both at home trying to run a house together. There is one thing we tend to both agree on: neither of us thinks the other does enough work around the house. In my mind, she rarely does anything. And wouldn’t you know it, just the other day she told my dad that all I ever do is sleep!
Today she decided that she was tired of cleaning up after the dog’s occasional accident and that I should do it. That did not sit well with me at all. I could think of a million reasons why she needed to march her hind parts in the back room and clean up the mess, but I didn’t say anything to her. Instead I lamented everything to my sister.
For the last month or so, my sister has been passionately trying to make me a better person. That is not an easy task. She did listen to what I had to say, but for the first time, her teachings clicked without even a reminder. Whether or not my Mom should have cleaned up the mess was unimportant. The importance was in how I responded.
I have seen our arguments as a constant power struggle. What I see now is that she is just a middle aged, exhausted mother with little confidence, trying to make her way in the this world. Is she always right? Of course not! :) But neither am I.
In an effort to be more respectful, I should probably stop trying to turn her into me. She is a different person. She will express herself differently and will do things differently than I do. That is perfectly fine. Probably the most important thing I can do to be more respectful is to realize that I don’t have to understand her to accept and respect her.
Looking forward to seeing if I can actually carry out these thoughts. Hopefully things in the household will improve as I improve. Cheers!