I Can Only Write When It Hurts


Does anyone else feel like they can’t write nearly as well when not in a bad phase of depression? All phases of depression are bad of course, but some times are much worse than others. With myself, I find that the deeper in depression I fall, the better my writing flows. I cannot write fiction. It is awkward and boring when it comes from this mind, unless I am deeply depressed. My deepest and worst depression brought about the only decent fiction I have ever been able to write.

Maybe it is the intensity with which all things are felt during the “bad times”. Maybe it is the medicine numbing me out and keeping me from feeling the words. Either way, I wish it were not necessarily so.  I miss the drive and ability to write, but don’t long for deep depression. Maybe one day my brain/body will find that happy medium.

What is your experience? When are you able to do your best writing?

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6 thoughts on “I Can Only Write When It Hurts

  1. I am the same way.. But it is a outlet for me to express my depression and the reasons that brought me to the worst state of it… It sucks..

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  2. I think the writing comes more easily for me when I’m depressed. I’m not sure exactly why that is, but one theory is that the feelings of depression and isolation and insecurity are, well, comfortable. Familiar. Cozy even. So those are easier for me to write about than the more obscure (to me!) feelings like happiness, excitement, even joy.

    Reading that over, it seems so sad!

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    • I couldn’t agree with you more. We know what to do with feelings of depression. They are ours. We don’t usually expect others to understand and we don’t have to share them with others. Depression is probably safe to a degree as it is our own little world.

      I may be wrong but these are my thoughts. Thanks for your comment. 🙂

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