Hate this medication with everything in me. It keeps me from hitting extreme lows but I can’t feel much of anything. This leads to desire to self harm as well as other ridiculous behavior. The house is a mess. There is work to be done, lessons to be prepared. I don’t care if any of it gets accomplished or not. Basically, I just want to lay in my bed and do absolutely nothing.
On the plus side, I did go see my neighbor. Actually we talked for a couple of hours. They have been really busy lately so we haven’t seen much of each other. They have some decisions to make. Wouldn’t life be grand if it offered as many solutions as it does questions.
I know tomorrow will be different. No two days are exactly alike. Things will get better. As bad as it seems, I dread Sundays. We have church. I love church in America, but church here is taxing to say the least. I just don’t care to try anymore and sadly, almost don’t care who that bothers along the way. I can’t give up no matter how numb I am. Gotta keep moving. One step at a time. I can do this. We can all do this.