This post contains a brief mention of self harm.
Aren’t you ready for the medication?
So much. In 32 days I will get some.
What if it doesn’t work?
Then I will try something else.
What else can you try? Punching people in the face when they irritate you? Becoming even more of a hermit than you already are? You have done basically everything.
Calm down! I don’t know what else I can do. But that doesn’t matter right now. At this moment I have hope that the medication will be good.
You have too much hope. You know that is not the way life goes.
That is ok, ’cause I think you are too negative. Life has many ups and downs. Right now I am in a down. That has to mean an up is coming in the near future.
You know everyone is just waiting for you give up, quit, run home to Mommy and Daddy. You could just save yourself some time if you give up now.
That is one of the great things about life ya know, that it really doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. In my opinion, if they are expecting me to fail, they are all wrong.
What are you going to do about your scars?
The ones you gave yourself from your self harm adventures.
Do you have to worry all the time about everything? I’m not doing anything about them. They are a part of me now just like any other part of my body. I could hate them but that really seems like a waste of time and effort.
Don’t you feel exposed though, like instead of the scars being under your clothes, they are actually all over your face where everyone can see them?
Yeah. Sometimes. You know, I could be wrong, but you might have a whole lot to do with my depression. Or maybe you are actually the depression itself. Never thought of you that way before.
Interesting, you seem to have nothing to say now.
So this is a conversation that seemed to be stuck on replay in my mind. For some reason it needed to be written. I think the ending was probably why it needed to come out. Somehow I feel a bit enlightened. This probably only adds to the idea that I might be a bit on the strange/crazy side, but that is ok. I actually have no problem with people thinking that if they would like to. I know the truth. Thanks for reading!