In first grade, two boys called me fat for the first time. In sixth grade I weighed about 220 pounds. That weight increased about thirty pounds in the next few years. In college the number escalated to over 285 pounds. I have never known what it is like to not be fat. I weighed today. I lost a little over two pounds this week and am at 242.8 pounds. In about twenty pounds, I will be at the same weight I was at the age of twelve. It is blowing my mind. In fact, I don’t really know how to react to this. There is much pride. I am so proud of myself for making this progress all on my own. There is no dietician or trainer. It is just me and myfitnesspal.com plus some FitnessBlender videos.
In reality I know there is still 82 pounds to my final goal weight. But still, being down over forty pounds is pretty amazing. I have much more confidence and self worth. Not for a minute should a someone’s self worth be dependent on any number. That would be very sad. But the increase in self confidence seems to stem from the success. I have lost weight like this before, when I was dating a man. After a dreadful break up, I gained all the weight back plus about 25 more pounds. This time though, the motivation is mostly for health reasons. My parents deal with many health issues that are only worsened by excess weight. If they had been healthy at my age, maybe they wouldn’t struggle as badly now.
This whole process is so cool. I can’t wait to show my family the improvements in person. Skype only shows so much. Even now, I keep catching different views of my body and I don’t even recognize it. It is weird and amazing at the same time. My goal while at home is to lose at least five pounds as I will be there for five weeks. That would put the number at 237.8. We will see! The next big number for me will be 220. I cannot wait to get there. After that, under 200 is the goal. Then it is basically a straight shot to 160. Realistically, the weight loss will probably slow as the numbers get smaller. The time will pass either way. Might as well be getting healthier through it all.
According to society, I am still fat. In my mind, I have come a long way. There is still a ways to go, but it is just all a part of the journey. Cheers!