I Do Not Know


Today has been a bad day. Within minutes of waking up there was that familiar pull of anxiety. My mind is cloudy. Talking or writing about it seems pointless, but I am really not sure how else to deal with my thoughts. I don’t have the energy to type out everything that has been going on the last two weeks. But I am tired. I am frustrated. I am lost as to how to further myself and make good life long decisions. I don’t want to make the wrong decisions. Is there even a way to know if the decisions are good? So many voices and pulls. I don’t know how to isolate the facts, remove selective bias, and understand which is the right path. I want to just make my own decisions and not need to worry about others being hurt. Why does it seem someone always must be injured? I am so tired. Emotionally drained. Mentally done. Sad. Oh so sad. My heart cries on the inside, but my eyes won’t participate. My body is disconnected as is my mind. Maybe tomorrow will be better.

Reminds me of a song. Iamdynamite  sings a song called Where will we go. These are the lyrics to the chorus:

Where will we go
I’ve got no bright idea
I’ve got no bright idea
Where we go this time
Where will we go
I’ve got no bright idea
Where we go, I don’t know
Til the last good time
Source: <a href=”http://www.elyrics.net/read/i/iamdynamite-lyrics/where-will-we-go-lyrics.html”>click here</a>

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2 thoughts on “I Do Not Know

  1. I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through a bad time. A lot of the feelings you mention resonate with me. Yet the fact that you say ‘Maybe tomorrow will be better’ is a relief to read. It means that you realise you are going through a bad episode of depression and that you’re aware that there is the potential for a better day tomorrow.

    I find that as long as you have the mindset and as long as you don’t let depression define who you are, there is an infinitely better chance for recovery 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much for your comment and thoughts. While another person dealing with depression is never a good thing, knowing I am not alone in my thought process is always good. I agree with you. Just have to keep holding on to that hope. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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